Food, Water, and Attachment

Yep, it’s that important.  

There are few, if any, aspects of infant/toddler development more important than the child’s attachment relationship to his parent or other primary caregiver.  Secure attachment provides a healthy and secure base for the child to learn how to appropriately respect, relate to, and interact with others. 

“But,” you wonder, “what exactly is attachment?” 

Attachment theory is credited to child psychiatrist, John Bowlby, and psychologist, Mary Ainsworth.  To learn more about Bowlby and Ainsworth, click here.  Here’s a very brief breakdown of what they discovered:

Attachment is the emotional bond that forms between an infant and her primary caregiver (typically the mother).  An attachment figure provides the baby with feelings of security, comfort, consistency, and happiness.  As the infant grows into a toddler, she uses her attachment figure as a secure base from which to explore the world she’s discovering.  When the baby is separated from her attachment figure, she typically experiences distress and fear.  

Secure attachment is what you want for your child.  There are three other types of attachment: avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized.  These are insecure and unhealthy attachment patterns and often result in emotional issues in later childhood and adulthood.  They are not conducive to optimal development.  If you want to learn what these patterns look like, this website gives a brief breakdown of them.

In short, a secure attachment relationship during early childhood is crucial in order for your infant to develop healthy relationships over the course of the rest of his life.

No pressure, right?  :-)

Relax.  You are likely already engaging with your infant in ways that help create a secure attachment -- picking him up when he cries; feeding him when he’s hungry; changing his diapers; talking, reading, and singing to him; holding him (babies thrive when they have physical contact); and picking up on his cues.  These things (the things you’re already doing...go you!!) are the best ways to create a secure attachment with your infant.  As long as you are responding to your infant consistently, appropriately, and lovingly, you’ve got this attachment thing down. Click here to read, “Bonding with Your Baby,” (a great article!) for more information about ways to create a secure attachment with your infant. 

Some people tend to believe that in order to foster independence in an infant or toddler, they must limit how quickly they respond to the infant’s needs and avoid consistently responding to all  of their needs.  They think they will “spoil” the baby.  Actually, the opposite is true.  Research proves that babies whose needs are met in consistent and loving ways develop a more positive self-image and become more independent and more secure adults than babies whose needs are met inconsistently or unreliably (who tend to act out in ways we might define as “spoiled”).

To sum up, I basically just told you that there is no such thing as holding your baby too much (as if you needed a reason to hold your baby) -- so go ahead and ignore those people who tell you you’re “spoiling” your infant or toddler...that’s really pretty hard to do.  In several years you can prove them wrong anyway with the secure, independent, caring little human you’ve raised.

Sensory Play . . . It Makes Sense

Picture this: Ten kids under the age of six in bare feet and underwear, skating on shaving cream on the kitchen floor, falling down, getting back up, laughing and squealing! This was the scene I encountered upon entering my father-in-law’s house not too long after my husband and I met.  At that moment, all I thought was, “Ah, yes…this is totally the right family for me!”

By engaging in play that utilizes their senses, children (at any age) are using scientific inquiry. To an infant or toddler, everything is new, so lots of questions develop which leads to exploration. The child explores objects and materials using his senses, gathers information about them, and attempts to answer his own questions.  

Not only does sensory play create connections in your child’s developing brain, but it also serves as a calming mechanism and can help children release emotions that they may not yet be skilled enough to sort out verbally.  For example, the process of scooping and pouring a substance can feel very calming and relaxing (water, rice, sand); squeezing and pounding a material can help release anger and frustration (playdough, clay).

Consider this scenario:

You hit the power button on your TV – it won’t turn on.  “Hmmm,” you think, “that’s strange.”  If you’re like me, you probably continue to hit the power button, harder each time, hoping it will eventually work.  It still won’t work so you follow the power cord and realize it is not plugged in. Duh. 

When a toddler displays challenging behavior (biting, hitting, screaming…), I typically first ask myself if they have had enough access to sensory play (by first, I really mean after I stupidly keep trying whatever I am trying in the first place that isn’t working).  Often times, I find a connection between a lack of access to sensory play and the challenging behavior.  In this way, I liken sensory play for a young child to a power cord for a TV -- just like the TV cannot properly function without the power cord plugged in, a young child cannot properly function without opportunities to engage his senses.  If your toddler is driving you over the edge with challenging behavior, consider implementing some sensory play into her day and see if you notice any differences.

That day in the kitchen, my nieces and nephews weren’t just participating in what will become an awesome childhood memory for them, but they were also creating valuable connections between pathways in their developing brains.  The feeling of soft, foamy shaving cream between their toes; their feet sliding around on the smooth, slippery floor; the fresh, musky scent; the sounds of laughter around them -- the kids were engaged in a meaningful activity full of lots of sensory input -- two things that are very conducive to appropriate brain development.  AND...the kitchen floor got a good “mopping” in the process!  See?  Good for everyone!

So go ahead...engage those senses and have some fun!  Your kitchen floor needs cleaned anyway, right?

A few of my favorite sensory activities (it was hard to narrow my list down to a few!):

-- Cornstarch + Water (touch) -- this is just pure awesomeness...is it a solid or a liquid?! Try it.  You’ll love it, too.

-- Texture Collage (touch):  gather materials of various textures (cotton balls, sandpaper, ribbon, beans, etc.) and let your child glue them to a piece of cardboard.

-- Coffee Sand (touch and smell): mix coffee and sand together = fun texture and yummy coffee smell

-- Flubber (touch): Click here for recipe

-- Colored Rice (sight, sound, and touch): Mix a few drops of food coloring with a teaspoon or two of rubbing alcohol and add it to uncooked rice.  Let it dry and then get to playing!

-- Plain Water (sight, touch, sound): add measuring cups for scooping and dumping, wash clothes and dishes for “washing,” water wheels, sponges...the possibilities are endless!

Links to other great sites with wonderful sensory ideas:

Lekotek: Sensory play ideas from Lekotek, complete with recipes.

Mommy Poppins: This site has 99 great ideas for sensory activities.

What's your favorite sensory activity?

Welcome!

Hello and welcome to "The Two's Don't Have to be Terrible!"  I’m Nanci and I hope you find my blog informative, helpful, and fun!  This blog will serve as a platform to share with you information about development in infancy and toddlerhood; how young children learn; infant/toddler behavior and effective ways to manage it; and developmentally appropriate activity ideas for you to engage your young child.


I have five years of experience working with children ages zero to three and am currently working toward my Master's degree in early childhood.  I am fascinated by children and, through this blog, I'm going to make sure you're fascinated by them as well! ;-)


My first "official" post will be up Wednesday evening - "Sensory Experiences."  Learn what sensory experiences are, why they are important, and how to create them.  I will be giving you lots of ideas to engage your young child in all sorts of sensory play, so get excited!

Is there a topic relating to infancy or toddlerhood that you would like to learn more about?  Let me know!

~Comments and questions are absolutely encouraged on all posts!  I would love to answer any questions you may have and hear your feedback on topics.~